I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
