So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
