Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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