So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
