At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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