If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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