Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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