I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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