we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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