I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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