So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
