You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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