ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
