Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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