So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
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