She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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