His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
