why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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