im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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