i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Dicks are not precious.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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