I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
