Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize