maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
