A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize