So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
