i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
