Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
