I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
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