I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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