wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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