I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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