Yo dont text me then not text me
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
