Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
