Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
