So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
