Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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