how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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