You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm sobbing to NWA
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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