Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
This is the high leading the old right now
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
