so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
