When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
