Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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