We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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