kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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