how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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