Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.

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(315): View more from New York

the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.

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(985): View more from Louisiana

I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it

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(716): View more from New York

I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.

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(219): View more from Indiana

Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.

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(224): View more from Illinois

I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.

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(602): View more from Arizona

Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day

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(813): View more from Florida

Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone

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