wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
