So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
