drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
