How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
