New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Randomize
