i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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