I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize