Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
