By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
