so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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