The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
